Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Monday, 24 November 2008
There aren't any recent photos of me because the human is too busy uploading photos of HERSELF onto stupid facebook.
This photo was taken in the summer, when the garden was in full bloom (of weeds).
It isn't even a particularly good photo of me, nor is it clear.
One is NOT amused with the human. She really is neglecting me in every sense of the word. I am fed up with her self absorbed, self obsessed ways. Enough is enough.
There is only room for ONE giant ego in this household, human! You HAVE been warned!
HRH Yao-Lin xxx
Friday, 21 November 2008
I know, I look somewhat scruffy and perhaps a little unkempt today.
You can blame this on the human. Last night I had once again to forage through the neighbour's bins for sustenance, followed by a scuffle with Baby Mao.
Consequently, I am shattered today.
I do hope my weekend is less tiring.
Yours, miserable as ever
HRH Yao-Lin xx
Monday, 17 November 2008
Here I am drinking from my Cat-it Water Fountain.
Sadly I have only one such fountain and it is kept upstairs, near my bed.
Truthfully, I require a fountain in each room but of course, that is too much to ask of a useless human like mine.
So I shall continue to suffer in silence.
Yours, sobbing at the unfairness of it all
Friday, 14 November 2008
Here I am, patrolling the neighbourhood.
Actually, that isn't strictly true. I am returning from doing a royal wee in the neighbours' plant pots. I like to do the odd royal poo amongst the fallen autumn leaves too. Incidentally, the human is CONVINCED she saw me spraying one of their walls.
What? It's not like anyone would even DARE reprimand me.
HRH Yao-Lin xxx
Monday, 10 November 2008
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
Darling Hendrix tagged me for a meme AGES ago. As the fat human has been spending all of her time on facebook, I have been unable to complete said meme until now.
Without further delay:
1. Where is your cell phone? - In the UK we call them mobile phones. Sadly, I do not own one. The human has one on which she spends hours playing bejewled. This amuses her peanut sized brain and stops her from bothering me, so I can't really complain.
2. Where is the husband? - No, I don't have a husband. Nor do I have a wife. In fact, I have very little in the way of creature comforts and spend my days lonely and bereft of attention.
3. Your hair color? - I am a seal point siamese. The human aunt calls me Thornton as in 'Thornton's chocolates'. I readily respond with a swipe. She KNOWS my real name but sadly is as mentally challenged as the human slave. *sigh*
4. Your mother? - Lives in a palace on the other side of the island. I can't believe she let me move to a hovel at only a few weeks old. I will never, ever forgive her. Ever.
5. Your father? - Apparently, he was a stud. I can't say I'm surprised. Like father liek son!
6. Your favorite thing? - Steak. Beating up Baby Mao.
7. Your dream last night? I dreamt that Obama adopted a royal siamese prince to take to the white house instead of a stupid puppy. *sigh*
8. Your dream/goal? - To escape this hovel and find my real royal roots. I know I have family and an abundance of human slaves out there somewhere, I just have to find them.
9. The room you're in? - I spend my days asleep in the airing cupboard. This hovel is freezing and the airing cupboard is the only place in which I can find warmth.
10. Your hobby? - I am too depressed to have hobbies. Apart from comfort eating, sleeping and beating baby Mao.
11. Your fear? - That I am stuck with my human slave until the end of my miserable life. Can you imagine? Cheap cat food, no heat, the constant stench of baby Mao...forever....*shudder*
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? - Living in the lap of luxury at Daisy's house. Now THERE's a human that KNOWS how to treat a feline.
13. Where were you last night? - I threw a temper tantrum because the human slave's niece has come to stay. I started by attacking her UGG boots then moved onto the air bed so that it deflated as soon as she slept on it. Ha!
14. What you're not? - Spoiled. I get new toys only once a month. I am forced to share a double bed with the human slave and stinky mao. I am fed steak only once in a blue moon. I suffer. Oh yes, I suffer.
15. One of your wish-list items? - A new, well trained human slave who waits on me paw and foot 24/7. Is that too much to ask?
16. Where you grew up? - In a hovel.*sniff*
17. The last thing you did? - Swiped at the human for kissing me on the head.
18. What are you wearing? - A cheap collar because the human is too tight to buy me an expensive one. It is NOT my fault I keep losing them is it!
19. Your TV? - I am forced to sit through endless repeats of Friends and Scrubs.
20. Your pet? - The human slave if she counts.
21. Your computer? - Dell.
22. Your mood? - What about it? Wouldn't you be in a bad mood if you had my life? Hmm?
23. Missing someone? - I carry my burdens alone and miss no-one.
24. Your car? - The human has a matchbox on wheels and I am forced to travel in it on the occasions I have to visit the vet. It is highly embarrassing.
25. Something you're not wearing? - The pumpkin outfit.
26. Favorite store? - Pets at Home.
27. Your summer? - At least it is warm. I must be grateful for small mercies.
28. Love someone? - Myself. Someone has to. *sniff*
29. Your favorite color? - Purple.
30. When is the last time you laughed? - When I punctured the air bed. Mwa ha ha!
31. Last time you cried? - I'm always crying. Wouldn't you?
I'd like to tag:
Ta ta for now *sniff*
Monday, 3 November 2008
Dear Mr Vole
I suggest you get up, this instant. I have thoroughly enjoyed our afternoon of playing but you cease to be entertaining when you lie still.
I offered you my hospitality by inviting you into my humble abode, and THIS is how you have repaid me.
One is not amused.