Friday, 31 August 2007
Thursday, 30 August 2007
Overheard in my palace this week:
Female Slave: " What do you mean, Yao-Lin attacked the neighbour's cat?
Male Slave: "Well, the old lady said she found her cat cowering under the bed in terror. His Royal Highness had strutted into the house, climbed up the stairs and was howling and hissing at the little fat tabby, all whilst baring his claws, ready to attack".
Female Slave: "Oh, he wouldn't do that, would he? Surely he was just playing?"
Male Slave: "I doubt it. The old lady said that when Yao-Lin couldn't reach her cat under the bed, he ate all the food and then stormed out of the house. Apparently he didn't take kindly to being shooed out either".
Female Slave: "Well, it has been a tough week, what with Anastasia and Oscar and everything. I am sure he was just venting his grief".
Male Slave: "Whatever. That cat is a psycho bully. I feel sorry for Baby Mao".
Yao-Lin: Mwa ha ha ha.
HRH Yao-Lin xx
Wednesday, 29 August 2007
Tuesday, 28 August 2007
Tuesday Meme: the Seven P's
Jimmy Joe tagged me for the Seven P's meme. Another chance to talk about myself - I do enjoy being tagged! Thanks Jimmy Joe!
The Rules: In an attempt to get to know fellow bloggers a little better, this new meme was started called the 7 P’s. Fill out the 7 P’s and tag five blogs that you read on a regular basis. Have fun!
Passion: Myself. This is the only subject about which I become animated, feel passionate and enjoy looking at for any length. Well, at least I am an honest siamese prince!
Purpose: To train human slaves. Constantly exhausting but very necessary.
Pursuit: Happiness. Ok, I am fibbing. In reality, I tend to pursue whatever is smaller than me. This includes but is not limited to: Baby Mao, human hands, human feet, ornaments, mice, hamsters, next door's cat.
Position: On high, surveying my domain and the commoners from a suitable distance.
Pummeling: Baby Mao's head. Human hands. Human feet. Human arms. Human heads on occasion but only when they are asleep.
Progress: I am finding it very difficult to make decent progress with my two slaves. They are stupid, ill educated, oafish and loafish. I think the only progress would be if I claimed back Siam and got as far away from these idiot humans as possible.
Personality: How can you not adore my personality? Well, put it this way: it is treason not to and I rather admire Henry VIII's people skills. Suddenly becomes easier to adore me now, doesn't it?
Now, I am going to tag the following cats:
Jinx Dinkerdoo, Lux, Cheysuli, Hellie the Orange Cat and Kelly too.
Monday, 27 August 2007
Well, I said I was going Mullet Hunting at the Isle of Wight Scooter Rally and here, for your perusal, are a couple of my finest catches.
Truthfully, there were an abundance of strange haircuts but these two stood out the most. I think these humans must have spent hours in front of a mirror tweaking their mullets to perfection.
I think Anastasia would laugh at these haircuts so I shall dedicate this Mullet Monday to her.
Yours, still chuckling,
Saturday, 25 August 2007
Oh Anastasia! I can't believe you have been gone so long. Five days and still no sign. I am devastated and I can't bear to imagine the grief your staff are feeling. They NEED you little cat, as do we all and we all wish you a safe and speedy return home.
Anastasia you are my sister in spirit and I am hoping and purraying that you are home soon. What will I do without you? I simply can't think of that. Please come home!!!
Royal love , royal hugs and royal prayers,
HRH Yao-Lin xxx
Friday, 24 August 2007
It is the Isle of Wight Scooter Rally this weekend.
Thousands of scooterists have already descended upon MY ISLAND. They are all very common and working class. I do not enjoy this faux 60's revival nor do I appreciate the music these cretins listen to.
I do, however, enjoy hunting for mullets.
Really, there is a vast abundance of these haircuts almost everywhere on the Isle of Wight this weekend! It is heaven for a royal hunter such as myself.
So, I will be having a busy weekend and will shortly post pictures of my findings!
Ta ta for now
Posted by HRH Yao-Lin at 02:22
Thursday, 23 August 2007
Thirteen things to do when one is locked inside the airing cupboard all morning:
1. Howl. Extremely loudly.
2. Feel exceptionally irritated because nobody can hear you except Baby Mao.
3. Realise that Baby Mao can't open doors.
4. Howl some more.
5. Give up howling. Become more and more irate as the minutes turn into hours.
6. Sleep. There is an abundance of fresh linen and clean towels that require fur all over them.
7. Wake up and howl some more. Realise the house is empty. Plot revenge.
8. Find toilet paper. Put plan of revenge into rapid bunny kicking action.
9. After half an hour, realise you have shredded all of the toilet rolls stored in the cupboard.
10. Scratch the wooden shelves.
11. Kick all of the laundry onto the floor.
12. When the door is finally opened, stand back and laugh as the human is showered by toilet paper confetti.
13. Watch the human spend three hours cleaning up the mess you have made. Laugh.
Can you BELIEVE what I have to put up with? WHAT IS THE POINT IN HAVING HUMAN SLAVES IF THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU WHEN YOU ARE SHOUTING AT THEM??
Yours, thinking of several suitable punishments for the humans,
Posted by HRH Yao-Lin at 12:11
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
I have today been tagged by the delectable Bounce, Lucy and Trixie for the catnip meme. I was going to do a Meezer Rule promoting vandalism but this Meme seems like much more fun!
'All you catsters out there have to do is just list 5 things you do whenever you're on the nip, and don't forget to tag some friends! Let's find out just how whacked out some of us get!!
1. The first time I tried nip I actually became a bit dizzy. It didn't really agree with the guiness I had been drinking that night. I decided there and then it would be one or t'other, never both.
2. The next time I tried nip I just fell asleep. I may have purred a little, I don't recall. I woke up hours later feeling really hungry.
3. Occasionally, when under the influence, I ponder the big questions in life. You know, "Why did God invent Sirloin steak? Why do we have humans as slaves when they are all a bit dim?".
4. I have actually sprinkled a little bit of nip in the slave Grandmother's spaghetti bologneise before now. It was HILARIOUS to see her reaction! She is a very very loud annoying lady and she deserved it. Mwa ha ha.
5. I am an anti social nip user. I won't share my nip with anyone. If Baby Mao so much as DARES to have a sniff I swipe at him. He can buy his own nip - the good stuff costs £20.00 a bag here!
I would like to tag the following cats:
Lux, Jinx Dinkerdoo , Cheysuli and Bendrix. I believe Bendrix is an habitual user and will especially enjoy this meme!
Ta ta for now
HRH Yao-Lin xx
Tuesday, 21 August 2007
Monday, 20 August 2007
Cost of a new washing line because I jumped onto the old one and snapped it: £6.00
Cost of a new net curtain because I jumped onto the old one and ripped it to shreds: £20.00
Cost of a tin of paint because I hacked into the wall with poo claws: £7.99
Learning that your siamese cat requires constant affection,attention and food:
Siamese cats - keeping their human slaves in line for centuries.
Mwa ha ha ha
Saturday, 18 August 2007
The very brave and regal Storm posted these pictures a few days ago. I admit, I am a copy cat! What can I say?
Storm - we are very much nose and face twins. I would even say that you descend from the same royal family as I. I would be very interested to research your family tree!
Anyway, I trust everycat will have a wonderful weekend. I am sure mine will bring me plenty of opportunity to complain.
Ta ta for now
Thursday, 16 August 2007
Today is Thursday and, nearing the end of the week, I have decided to list thirteen worshipful and wonderful comments left for me this week. Of course, there were plenty more where these came from but I will save those for another Thursday.
I should also like to take this opportunity to congratulate each of you for your very impeccable taste. It takes a wonderful feline to know a wonderful feline. Believe me, I know.
Without any further ado:
Thirteen Worshipful and Wonderful Comments Left for HRH Yao-Lin This Week
1. "You take handsome to a whole new level my royal pal" Parker
2. "You are, of course, handsome and regal all at the same time!
You are very generous to share your beauty with the Web World". Bounce, Lucy & Trixie
3. "As always, your regalness inspires me" Cheysuli
4. "YUMMY KITTY"! Mosaic Cats
5. "I can hardly find words for your handsomeness, Yao-Lin"! Luxor
6. "I like how you posed just right so the beautiful shadows from the branches made an artistic pattern on you. You truly have impeccable aristocratic taste". Jimmy Joe
7. "Yoo are so regal, yer pikchur takes our breff away" Eric n Flynn
8. "You know that when they call upon the heavens, they can't raise you any higher than that!!" Donny, Marie & Casey
9. "I gazed therefore I am". Tara
10. "I adoringly gazed at your pictures, I think I like the picture of you with your crown on best". Kellie the Orange Cat
11. "The woman just keeps sitting and sitting.. I had to drag her away from your photo Yao-lin" Cheysuli
12. "A vision in meezer glory..." DKM
13. "Yao-Lin, you are looking extra-royal today. Thank you for letting us gaze upon your image."
Like I said, excellent taste everyone! Give yourself a big paw on the back, you deserve it.
HRH Yao-Lin xxx
Wednesday, 15 August 2007
Tuesday, 14 August 2007
I have been tagged by Chairman Mao and Storm to complete the Middle Name Meme.
My middle name is, of course, Royal!
Here are the rules:
1. Post the rules before you give the facts.
2. List one fact that is somehow relevant to you and your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. When you are tagged you need to write your post using your middle name and facts about it.
4. At the end of your post, choose one cat to tag for each letter of your middle name. Be sure to let each cat know she/he has been tagged. (It's okay if you don't do this... tag who you want to tag!)
His ROYAL Highness Yao-Lin
R = Regal, of course! All us Siamese cats are inherently regal.
O = 'Oh heavens above, he is beautiful'! This is what humans say whenever they meet me or see a photo of me. I can't say I blame them.
Y = Yao-Lin. This is my actual name and the human chose it because she felt it was onomatopoeic- it does sound rather like the noise us Meezers make - Yoooowwwwwlllliiiinnng!
A = Aristocatic. This is the best manner in which to approach every action one takes. Never be too pleased about anything - an air of aristocatic snobbery works wonders, dah-ling!
L = Love me - a wonderful song by the King Himself, Elvis Presley. I often find myself humming it whilst staring in the mirror. What, I thought everycat did that?
Right, I am going to tag the following:
Girl Girl the Hamster
Eric n Flynn
Before I dash off, I must tell everyone that my chav neighbours have been given an ASBO by the RSPCA so everything is quiet, at least for now.
Disclaimer: The above had nothing to do with His Royal Highness Yao-Lin. Honestly. I did not report them to the authorities for trespassing and neither did I use my royal connections to spur the authorities into action.
Ta ta for now
HRH Yao-Lin xx
Monday, 13 August 2007
Today is Monday, day of Meezer celebration.
If you are in a meezerly mood, head on over to Simply Siamese where I am guest host.
Alternatively, take a few extra moments to gaze at my picture. Then head over to Simply Siamese for more of the same.
HRH Yao-Lin xxxx
Friday, 10 August 2007
Frootbat Friday - finally a chance to showcase my Siamese elegance. Never let it be said that I am selfish - I am always willing to bestow my beauty upon the world.
Have a relaxing weekend everyone. Mine will be spent sulking, throwing temper tantrums and generally sauntering around the palace, as always.
p.s No visits from the chav neighbours lately, which is a real blessing. I think they may have been intimidated by my stunning looks. Such is life. ;-)
Thursday, 9 August 2007
I have accepted the Cat Realm's challenge and can now introduce you to my Not Of My Species Special Friend.
Her name is Girl Girl and she is a hamster.
I chose Girl Girl because I was feeling rather peckish and she looked edible. Oh, and because I thought she was cute!
I have agreed not to eat her or torture her. I will simply be her Not of My Species Special Friend.
Thank you to the Cat Realm for this challenge. I now have a ready meal that I am UNABLE TO EAT.
Thanks also to Girl Girl for bravely agreeing to be friends with a a siamese cat. I can only assume she hasn't read my posts about my mouse adventures. Don't worry my little hamster friend, this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship.
Mwa ha ha ha ha *rubs paws* mwa ha ha ha
HRH Yao-Lin xx
Tuesday, 7 August 2007
Excuse me Mr Worm, would you care to be my Not of My Species Special Friend?
No? Well, then, allow me to torture you mercilessly for a few hours. You might find you change your mind.
Mwa ha ha ha ha ha
HRH Yao-Lin xx
Monday, 6 August 2007
Don't be fooled. I am actually sulking in these pictures.
In between the new chav neighbours, Baby Mao's ridiculous fight for territory and the humans' moving all my things around, I am getting thoroughly pi**ed off.
The female scooped me up in her arms today. I responded by swiping her with my claw. She should know better than to approach me when I am in a bad mood.
Oh, incidentally, I think some of my recent comments concerning my neighbours may have been construed as slightly offensive. It was not my intention to offend any cats and I would be grateful if you would take a moment to reflect on the following statement that I have today issued to the British Catarazzi.
" Please be aware that I, HRH Yao-Lin, hold no prejudice towards fat cats, ginger cats or tabby cats. Just because my neighbours are all three and can also be described as fat chavs, I could never be so ignorant as to tar my blogging friends with the same brush. Bring me your fat cats, your tabby cats and your ginger cats. I will embrace you all. Just keep the smelly fat chavs away from me".
HRH Yao-Lin x
Sunday, 5 August 2007
Here I am, all settled in to the new palace. I am still extremely unimpressed with the neighbours. They are all very common and obviously not used to having royalty living in the vicinity.
Yesterday, I met a fat tabby cat. He sat on the wall and stared at my beauty as I flitted about the garden in my elegant Siamese manner.
Eventually I noticed the fat tabby cat. "Hey, you!" I shouted, "get off my wall, you fat chav".
The tabby continued to sit there, staring, before shouting back " Do you want to come up here and say that?".
I was speechless! The NERVE of these common cats. It would seem I am living in a rough area of town. I will never forgive the humans for moving His Royal Highness to an area with so many commoners. It is simply unforgivable.
Yours, sulking as usual,
Friday, 3 August 2007
Having sorted out the territorial issues between Baby Mao and I, it seems I have a new neighbour who looks rather confrontational.
I think his name might be Ginger. He seems to think that we have stolen his garden!
Well tough luck fatty, His Royal Highness is here to stay!
As a side note, I am pleased to report that in my recent absence, I was featured on Stuff on My Cat!
I was rather pleased to be shown cutting a fine figure in my army gear!
Right, I have to go and patrol the garden and warn off any intruders. I would ask the slaves to do it but they are as useless in the new house as they were in the old.
A royal feline's work is never done. *sigh*
Ta ta for now
HRH Yao-Lin xxx
Posted by HRH Yao-Lin at 05:35
Thursday, 2 August 2007
Greetings one and all!!
I am unable to post a great deal today because Baby Mao and I are having MAJOR territorial 'disputes' over the new palace.
That boy just won't listen! It's all supposed to be MINE!!!
Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go and take my 'dispute' all over the house, on every single counter, in each cupboard and all over the new furniture, preferably breaking several ornaments on the way.
Ta ta for now