Frootbat Christmas Fashion on Friday

Firstly, allow me to bestow very Moody Christmas wishes on each and every one of my fellow cat blogging friends. Here's a cringeworthy sight if ever I saw one:

It's Baby Mao as Mrs Santa Claws:



Look at the ridiculous expression on his face! He purred and purred as the human snapped away with her stupid camera:



Doesn't he realise that the best models always look..well...mooooody, like so: -






Do you know, the human actually bought me an Elf outfit to wear??? An ELF outfit!! Can you imagine!!! Needless to say, I bunny kicked her into oblivion when she tried to entice me into wearing it.

It's bad enough being forced to wear these stupid Christmas hats.

I'm not a Grinch, I'm just not a complete idiot like Baby Mao. It's so embarrassing having such a stupid sibling.

Yours, really really REALLY moody


HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Meezer Monday

Honestly, Baby Mao...





Is this REALLY comfortable for you?



Yours, thoroughly not enjoying being used as a pillow


HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Meezer Monday - Secret Paw

Look! Presents - ALL FOR ME!



Baby Mao, you can look but DON'T TOUCH!









Thank you to my secret paw! Although my expression belies little emotion, I am really very pleased with my gifts. Food is always well received in my hovel, so thank you once again.

Ta ta for now


HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Moan on Monday

Human. Not only did you desert me for the ENTIRE weekend, you also came home stinking of THIS:






AND THIS:



And you seem to think that THIS makes it all better:




Well you can think again, fatso. THIS siamese prince is NOT so easily bought.

Yours, disgusted


HRH Yao-Lin


p.s What exactly is that small furry thing? It's hardly a real dog, more like a teddy bear. Hmph.

Tantrum on Tuesday

HUMAN! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT! I MEAN IT! THESE LASER EYES MEAN BUSINESS, FATSO!

And don't even THINK about getting moody because I ate mashed swede from your plate when your back was turned. You hardly need the calories whereas I am positively FAMISHED!.

*hmph*


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Wordless Wednesday

Hmph.


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Meezer Monday

There aren't any recent photos of me because the human is too busy uploading photos of HERSELF onto stupid facebook.

This photo was taken in the summer, when the garden was in full bloom (of weeds).

It isn't even a particularly good photo of me, nor is it clear.

One is NOT amused with the human. She really is neglecting me in every sense of the word. I am fed up with her self absorbed, self obsessed ways. Enough is enough.

There is only room for ONE giant ego in this household, human! You HAVE been warned!


HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Frootbat Friday

I know, I look somewhat scruffy and perhaps a little unkempt today.

You can blame this on the human. Last night I had once again to forage through the neighbour's bins for sustenance, followed by a scuffle with Baby Mao.

Consequently, I am shattered today.

I do hope my weekend is less tiring.

Yours, miserable as ever



HRH Yao-Lin xx

Meezer Monday

Here I am drinking from my Cat-it Water Fountain.




Sadly I have only one such fountain and it is kept upstairs, near my bed.

Truthfully, I require a fountain in each room but of course, that is too much to ask of a useless human like mine.

So I shall continue to suffer in silence.

Yes, silence....

Yours, sobbing at the unfairness of it all


HRH Yao-Lin

Frootbat Friday

Here I am, patrolling the neighbourhood.



Actually, that isn't strictly true. I am returning from doing a royal wee in the neighbours' plant pots. I like to do the odd royal poo amongst the fallen autumn leaves too. Incidentally, the human is CONVINCED she saw me spraying one of their walls.

What? It's not like anyone would even DARE reprimand me.

Yours, mischievously


HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Meezer Monday

Here I am in the only warm place in the house, the airing cupboard:



Sadly, I have to share this space with you-know-who.

At least it's warm.

*sigh*

HRH Yao-Lin x

A Meme on Saturday

Darling Hendrix tagged me for a meme AGES ago. As the fat human has been spending all of her time on facebook, I have been unable to complete said meme until now.

Without further delay:

1. Where is your cell phone? - In the UK we call them mobile phones. Sadly, I do not own one. The human has one on which she spends hours playing bejewled. This amuses her peanut sized brain and stops her from bothering me, so I can't really complain.

2. Where is the husband? - No, I don't have a husband. Nor do I have a wife. In fact, I have very little in the way of creature comforts and spend my days lonely and bereft of attention.

3. Your hair color? - I am a seal point siamese. The human aunt calls me Thornton as in 'Thornton's chocolates'. I readily respond with a swipe. She KNOWS my real name but sadly is as mentally challenged as the human slave. *sigh*

4. Your mother? - Lives in a palace on the other side of the island. I can't believe she let me move to a hovel at only a few weeks old. I will never, ever forgive her. Ever.

5. Your father? - Apparently, he was a stud. I can't say I'm surprised. Like father liek son!

6. Your favorite thing? - Steak. Beating up Baby Mao.

7. Your dream last night? I dreamt that Obama adopted a royal siamese prince to take to the white house instead of a stupid puppy. *sigh*

8. Your dream/goal? - To escape this hovel and find my real royal roots. I know I have family and an abundance of human slaves out there somewhere, I just have to find them.

9. The room you're in? - I spend my days asleep in the airing cupboard. This hovel is freezing and the airing cupboard is the only place in which I can find warmth.

10. Your hobby? - I am too depressed to have hobbies. Apart from comfort eating, sleeping and beating baby Mao.

11. Your fear? - That I am stuck with my human slave until the end of my miserable life. Can you imagine? Cheap cat food, no heat, the constant stench of baby Mao...forever....*shudder*

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? - Living in the lap of luxury at Daisy's house. Now THERE's a human that KNOWS how to treat a feline.

13. Where were you last night? - I threw a temper tantrum because the human slave's niece has come to stay. I started by attacking her UGG boots then moved onto the air bed so that it deflated as soon as she slept on it. Ha!

14. What you're not? - Spoiled. I get new toys only once a month. I am forced to share a double bed with the human slave and stinky mao. I am fed steak only once in a blue moon. I suffer. Oh yes, I suffer.

15. One of your wish-list items? - A new, well trained human slave who waits on me paw and foot 24/7. Is that too much to ask?

16. Where you grew up? - In a hovel.*sniff*

17. The last thing you did? - Swiped at the human for kissing me on the head.

18. What are you wearing? - A cheap collar because the human is too tight to buy me an expensive one. It is NOT my fault I keep losing them is it!

19. Your TV? - I am forced to sit through endless repeats of Friends and Scrubs.

20. Your pet? - The human slave if she counts.

21. Your computer? - Dell.

22. Your mood? - What about it? Wouldn't you be in a bad mood if you had my life? Hmm?

23. Missing someone? - I carry my burdens alone and miss no-one.

24. Your car? - The human has a matchbox on wheels and I am forced to travel in it on the occasions I have to visit the vet. It is highly embarrassing.

25. Something you're not wearing? - The pumpkin outfit.

26. Favorite store? - Pets at Home.

27. Your summer? - At least it is warm. I must be grateful for small mercies.

28. Love someone? - Myself. Someone has to. *sniff*

29. Your favorite color? - Purple.

30. When is the last time you laughed? - When I punctured the air bed. Mwa ha ha!

31. Last time you cried? - I'm always crying. Wouldn't you?

I'd like to tag:

Daisy
Mr Echo
The Meezers

Ta ta for now *sniff*


HRH Yao-Lin

Meezer Rule Wednesday

My Meezer Rule:







Remember, remember the 5th of November, Gunpowder, treason and...........Me! Me! Me!

For more meezer rules, visit Simply Siamese!

Ta ta for now



HRH Yao-Lin xx

Dear Mr Vole

Dear Mr Vole




I suggest you get up, this instant. I have thoroughly enjoyed our afternoon of playing but you cease to be entertaining when you lie still.

I offered you my hospitality by inviting you into my humble abode, and THIS is how you have repaid me.

One is not amused.


HRH Yao-Lin

Halloween Contest

Darlings! Here is my entry into Skeezix's Third Annual Catster and Cat Bloggers Halloween Costume Contest!

It should be noted that the human endeavoured to have me wear a pumpkin outfit. I refused, point blank.

So this year I am a witch. Some might say this is unoriginal. I say this: you try and get a headstrong royal siamese into a pumpkin outfit!

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Meezer Monday

Human...do you hear that sound?



Yes, that's right - it's your alarm clock. The clocks have changed, you get an extra hour in bed and STILL you manage to be late for work.

You really are a pathetic excuse for a slave.

Now leave me alone so that I can go back to sleep. MY clock hasn't altered at all.

Ta ta for now


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Frootbat Friday

Greetings, subjects!


Here I am, sitting on the wall, pondering all things dreadful in my life.



Needless to say, I sat there for a long time:



And then the stench hit me:



Have a wonderful weekend, my faithful friends.

Yours, miserable as always


HRH Yao-Lin

Meezer Monday - Simply Siamese Fall Contest

Greetings, subjects!

Here is my entry into the Simply Siamese Fall Contest. I do hope you appreciate how very cold it is on the Isle of Wight at the moment. *sniff*

Ta ta for now


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Moody Meezer Monday

Human, might I suggest that you get your fat bum off facebook and cook me some dinner....



Or a roasted Baby Mao can easily be arranged...



Mwa ha ha ha


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Meezer Rule Wednesday

Meezer Rule: Always keep the human slave guessing when depositing random findings in the house.

Is this a pork rind? A piece of ham hock? Or part of some unsuspecting human? One will never know...






Is this a tail from an animal? A worm of some sort? You decide!!




Yes, it is always a good idea to keep the human's on their toes with puzzles such as these. And it is usually a treat for ones ears when the human gags in disgust.

Mwa ha ha!

HRH Yao-Lin

For more meezer rules, visit: Simply Siamese!

Meezer Monday

Reason why I hate my brother # 998:





HELP ME! PLEASE! SOMEBODY!


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Thankful Thursday

Yes, I am thankful on this Thursday.

I am thankful that I can get into complex yoga poses in order to thoroughly bathe myself:





And I am thankful that the human slave has friends who understand that I am starving and give her lamb bones for me to devour:








However, I am NOT thankful for my inept human slave. She is useless and I would have wasted away in this last week were it not for the charity of her friends.

Ta ta for now



HRH Yao-lin

I Accept the Dare

In honour of the Cat Realm's challenge, Mr Chen recently dared us all to come up with one creative, fun, useful way to save the environment and put a picture of yourself doing it on your blog.

Well, I am of the strongest opinion that the very best way to save the environment is by doing this:



The right amount of corkage will save all manner of environments, not least my very own.

Thank you to Mr Chen and The Cat Realm for the challenge! I urge you all to take action to stop these noxious emissions!

Ta ta for now


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Fanmail on Saturday

My adoring fan Suzanne sent me a fabulous package!



Unforuntately it was intercepted by stinky Mao:



I adore these 'Cat Butt' fridge magnets:




Then again, so does stinky Mao. *sigh*



Ah, well, I'll have this stunning North Carolina calendar! It is beautiful!



Thank you Suzanne! You really ARE an adoring fan!

Ta ta for now


HRH Yao-Lin xxx