An email to Santa

Last night I sent an email to Santa (via Rudolph). You can probably tell that the email is automated and therefore not to my usual disciplinarian standard.


#1, Rudolph Way
North Pole, Canada
HOH OHO


Dear Rudolph,

My name is Yao-Lin and I am a boy cat. I live in the great city of Ryde with my owner. Of course, that's in the United Kingdom, but I'll bet you knew that!!

Rudolph, I've been a good cat this year (honest!!) and the 3 presents I would like the most for Christmas are a : new baby brother that does not stink, a new human slave and a new palace with a host of fully trained human slaves. (Please put in a good word with Santa for my owner too!)

P.S. Rudolph, I also wanted to say that... my life is terrible. Please please please arrange for me to have a new family. I beg of you. I can't cope much longer.

Love,

Yao-Lin


This is the pathetic response I received:


Purrr!! Tweet!! Baaaa!! Yao-lin!

Thank you Yao-lin for woof meow öink squeãl squeak baaaa your email squeak moo woof from Ryde, United Kingdom! Meow purr roar rîbbit woof baaaa. It's always wonderful to get an email from you, Yao-lin! Öink baaa meow hiss roar squeãl!! So Yao-lin, have you been a good boy this year? (Of course, you won't mind if Santa and I do a little checking, will you? woof chirp? baaaa! neiiiiiighhh).

Chirp, purr gurgle roar woof baaaa anew baby brother SNARF!!! Öink moo woof a new human slave SNARF!! Squeak good cat squawk woof baaaa new palace SNARF!! ARROOooooooo!! Purr blub tweet ribbit ¿¿warble??

Take good care of your owner Yao-lin and don't forget to listen for Santa and me Christmas Eve!! Squawk slither baaaa!! Just a reminder that the secret password this year will be Öink!! squeaks rîbbit SPLAT!! woof grrr chuuurrrrrp!! That way you'll know its us at your house so you can let Santa in and not make any noises to wake up your owners!!

So thanks again for the email Yao-lin. Did you have a hard time typing with your paws? Keyboards weren't really designed for us critters were they?! Tikki-tikki squawk woof!! Of course, don't forget to get your owner to email Santa too so Santa knows what they want for Christmas. Otherwise, you might have to share that anew baby brother with them!! ARROOoooooo! ~sproing~ squeãl öink!!

Season's Greetings!


Rudolph xx


So basically I won't get anything I asked for this year.

MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE AND EVEN FATHER CHRISTMAS WON'T HELP ME!


HRH Yao-Lin x