Meezer Monday

THE CAT NIP BANANA IS MINE! ALL MINE!!!!

MWA HAHAHAHAHAHA



Yours, in a nip-induced frenzy



HRH Yao-Lin

xx

Sunday Guest Star

I am exceptionally pleased to report that I am Cheysuli's Sunday Guest Star.

The reason? My comment: "Good luck tomorrow, I will be supporting you all the way. Incidentally I am rapidly running out of interesting things to say in my comments so I will simply say this: I can’t wait until tomorrow night because the neighbours always have chinese food. mm."

Cheysuli, the most impawtant politician of our time, responded thus:

"I want to hear more about the Chinese food. Are these the same neighbors who had the roast lamb? Do they invite you over or are they some sort of hunting preserve? Do tell. You have the best food resources of any cat I know!"

Well, Chey, I will now elaborate for you and all of you food loving cats out there. You know who you are.

When we moved into the new house on 1st August, I was not allowed out for weeks and weeks on end. Consequently, my only food source was the under-cooked steak and Royal Canin the human insists on feeding me. Can you say cat abuse?

As soon as I was allowed out to explore, I followed my nose, hopped over the wall and found, to my delight, a fat human family living very close by. My fat human isn't quite sure how I managed it but within minutes I came home with chips (or fries) in my jaw and proceeded to eat them on the carpet.

I quickly realised I was onto a very good thing and have, on different occasons, come home with the following:

KFC chicken
Half a loaf of bread
A roast lamb bone
Chips (or fries)
A slice of roast beef.

The human has heard a 'little yappy dog' going nuts every time I hop over the wall. She has put two and two together and concluded that I am stealing from the dog's bowl.

So there you have it! A fit and proper explanation which also contains an important moral:

If you have a royal cat, feed it properly as it will NOT show loyalty to any human who cannot cook.

Enjoy your Sunday and take notes as required.

HRH Yao-Lin xx

Tuesday Not a Not of My Species Special Friend.

Excuse me Mr Worm, would you care to be my Not of My Species Special Friend?




No? Well, then, allow me to torture you mercilessly for a few hours. You might find you change your mind.




Mwa ha ha ha ha ha

HRH Yao-Lin xx

Savagery on Sunday (not for younger viewers)

All us Royals love a good spot of hunting on a Sunday morning. After the government placed a ban on fox hunting, the aristocracy were left with little choice other than to pursue another method of entertainment.

So, mouse hunting became our favoured pasttime. A pleasurable pursuit allowing one to still experience the thrill of the chase. I do look rather devilish in this picture, do I not?

Yours, feeling rather pleased with oneself,



HRH Yao-Lin




NB: This is Yao-Lin's slave speaking. This field mouse was Yao-Lin's first (and hopefully last) catch. He brought it in yesterday and proceeded to bat it around the house. When it lay still, he bit its neck until it squealed and ran off so that he could continue to 'play'. We finally caught the mouse and set it free in the garden. The poor thing probably died from shock shortly after!