*snigger*...
I can't help but laugh.
Baby Mao had his annual vet check up today.
An hour of intense howling and £82.00 later, the runt is home and as annoying as ever.
*sigh*
Oh well, at least I look spectacularly cute in this photo.
Yours, still laughing at the runt
HRH Yao-Lin xxx
I was recently tagged by Storm the Furry Fighter for the Treasure Box Meme!
Originating on Miss Peach's blog, the rules are as follows:
A SIMPLE BUT VERY IMPORTANT MEME: List your treasures and tag other kitties and their humans also, as many as you like. Let this reflection spread through out the world. We need to count our contentment's as Blessings!
What do you look back over and treasure enough to place inside your
BOX OF LIFE?
I found this meme surprisingly easy! I should like to include:
1) Fillet steak. A love affair that will forever stand the test of time..fillet steak and I.
2) The joy of shredding the curtains. The happiness I am filled with when I hear the delicate material rip through my razor sharp claws. *wistful sigh*
3) Bunnykicks. I am engulfed with joy each time I bunnykick a human's ankles or arm. Any human will do, I have no particular preference. Good times!
4) Baby Mao. Yes, I will include the small stinky one. Only for bunnykicking practice, you understand.
5) MY catnip banana.
6) My blog. A testament to the trials I endure.
7) My fabulous Siamese howl.
8) A mirror so that I can stare at my Siamese beauty for hours on end.
9) My faithful subjects among the Cat Blogosphere. You know who you are.
10)Oh, I suppose I will have to include the human slave. How else will my steak become cooked, albeit badly?
Now, I should like to tag:
Luxor
Chairman Mao
Pyewaclet
Mickey the Black Cat
Kelly the Orange Cat
Any other cat who has not yet taken part!
When feline related paraphanalia arrives on the premises...
Claim it as YOURS. Even if the parcel was addressed to another cat. 
For more meezer rules, visit Simply Siamese!
Human: when you plug in the microphone and begin hollering to Madonna songs, you do not look or sound like a pop star. Do not entertain the idea of auditioning for the X Factor. You will become the laughing stock of the nation.
Your large behind does not make you Beyonce. Similarly, a microphone does not make you sound like Britney Spears.
Stop making those hideous sounds. This instant.It is really rather embarrassing.
Yours, covering my ears with my gorgeous velvety paws
HRH Yao-Lin xx
I have decided to audition for the star role in CCSI - Cat/Canine Criminal Crime Scene Investigators.
I really do believe I was put on earth for this part. Wouldn't you agree?
Ta ta for now
HRH Yao-Lin xx
I really do look moody in EVERY single photograph. The human should really take the hint and get that bloody camera - and stinky Mao - away from me!
Have a wonderful weekend everyone. You all know how terrible mine will be.
Ta ta for now
HRH Yao-Lin xx
What, you ACTUALLY expect me to give thanks today?
I have nothing to be thankful for except my sanity.
Yours, master of moodiness
HRH Yao-Lin
Dear human slave
When your Siamese cat wishes to sleep under the duvet, you will observe the following rule:
1. No farting under the quilt.
Truly, your habits appall me. How do you cope with day to day life when you cannot even manage to control your flatulence? Might I suggest a change in diet?
If this matter is not resolved by TONIGHT I will have little choice but to take disciplinary action.
Yours, tattling on the human with joy and also disgust
HRH Yao-Lin xx
I’ve been tagged by Black Cat for a meme. Here are the rules:
* Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog;
* Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself;
* Tag 7 random people at the end of your post & include links to their blogs;
* Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
7 Random and/or Weird Facts About Me!
1. I am a true survivor. On a daily basis I cope with plummeting temperatures, near starvation and horrific smells. My blog is my only salvation - I simply MUST tell the world about the cruel conditions in which I am forced to subsist.
2. As a resut of number 1, I am an inspiration to all cats. I know I am, you don't need to tell me.
3. I once had a love interest. Her name was Fiona. And then one day she was gone. She disappeared from the blogosphere and no amount of messages could bring her back. I have since concluded that I have been unceremoniously dumped.
4. I don't care that I have been dumped because I cannot love any cat more than I love myself. I did tell Fiona that.
5. I am partial to the odd drink of peppermint tea. I also love the taste of toothpaste - I hasten to admit that I regularly lick toothpaste from the human's hand (she is very messy!).
6. I love prawns. However, they must be northatlantic prawns served in garlic butter. Nothing else will do.
7. I have successfully declared the neighbourhood my own. Next door's cat won't even leave her house until she is certain I am indoors. The stupid old lady next door says 'It's ok dear, that nasty Siamese is in the house now'. To which I reply ' Mwa ha ha' whilst rubbing my paws.
The End.
I tag :
Storm the Furry Fighter
Chase
Kaze
Any cat that hasn't yet been tagged!
Drastic times call for drastic measures. I am FED UP with spending all day in a cold house. I have little choice but to sport this dashing hat and scarf set. 
As you can see, I am shivering from the cold. A Royal Cat shouldn't NEED to dress up in winter clothes to keep warm! It's tantamount to cat abuse. 
I'll have some temptations to keep me going through this icy winter. Baby Mao can get stuffed. 
Yours, chilled to the bone
HRH Yao-Lin xx
To the strange individuals who have googled the following to arrive at my blog:
Training my love slave
Fart on face slave
I train my male slave
Thai love slaves
Be advised that my methods won't work unless you have claws and, perchance, mean to train your human in the ways of the feline.
Yours, wishing my site would come up on far less depraved searches
HRH Yao-Lin xx
Meezer Rule: When asked to step away from the catnip banana, zap your adversary with devil laser eyes.
For more meezer rules, visit Simply Siamese!
Tattle Tail Tuesday -an idea started by the Mosaic Cats and a prospect I relish!
The idea? To tattle on your human. Mwa ha ha
My human is, as you know, both fat and prone to laziness. She does however take exercise quite regularly and considers it a serious means to a chocolate bar at the end.
Honestly, I balk when she climbs down from her elliptical strider, dripping with sweat, only to head for the fridge and start cramming chocolate in her fat gob.
If she put half the effort into keeping fit as she does foraging chocolate, she would look like Kate Moss by now.
Instead she looks more like Beth Ditto. Or maybe Ting Tong, I haven't quite decided.
Oh, this was fun, I do look forward to more tattling tails next Tuesday!
Yours, humiliating the human with glee,
HRH Yao-Lin xx
THE CAT NIP BANANA IS MINE! ALL MINE!!!!
MWA HAHAHAHAHAHA
Yours, in a nip-induced frenzy
HRH Yao-Lin
xx
Yes, Baby Mao, of COURSE you smell of peppermint.
Yours, ever disgusted
HRH Yao-Lin
The human is too busy to assist me in blogging today.
She has taken up a Thursday evening Kung Fu class.
This I would pay to see. I can only imagine what entertainment can be had from watching the human slave endeavour to kick her fat legs above ankle height and punch her chunky arms in some sort of coordination.
Have no doubt, I will reprimand her for being unavailable this rainy evening.
Yours, chucking to oneself
HRH Yao-Lin xx
.
Human Aunt: Why is your cat sitting in the sink?
Female Slave: Oh, it's fine, just run the tap for him, he prefers fresh running water is all.
Human Aunt: I am NOT using the bathroom whilst that cat sits there staring at me.
Female Slave: Well run the tap and let him have a drink then. He'll soon leave.
Human Aunt: That cat is so spoilt. He has some really random habits.
HRH Yao-Lin: Mwa hahahaha
Meezer Rule: It matters not who turns on the faucet - any slave will do.
I never get any time alone. Even bed time is a poo smelling ordeal considering the company.
HRH Yao-Lin
I have been DESPERATELY trying to pose for a picture without a certain other cat in the frame.
Evidently, I have failed.
Baby brothers are a royal pain in the a*se at times.
Yours, moody on Monday but also aware that you will most likely melt when gazing into my beautiful blue eyes.
HRH Yao-Lin xxx
Things have been getting out of hand lately. Today, I spent HOURS composing a further list of instructions for my human slave. She had better take note or else.
Instructions for the Slave
1.If I enter a room, you- human slave - must stop whatever you are doing and tend to my needs.
2. If I call out from the upstairs of the house, you must stop whatever you are doing and again attend to my needs. It may be something of vital importance.
3. When Baby Mao wins a Halloween Contest, you will, in my presence, refrain from fussing and fawning over your 'special little winner'.
4. When I am stood next to the sink, it is a non verbal agreement that you will turn on the tap and then lift me so that I may sup from the faucet.
5. When I grab onto your arm with my claws, I want attention. Instantly.
6. When I sit outside of the litter tray and howl, I want the litter to be changed. Instantly.
7. When you are eating dinner, you will share your plate with me. Whatever you are eating, I want. Whatever you are eating is therefore mine.
8.You will NOT eat yoghurt in my presence without offering it to me first.
9. You WILL spoon feed me yoghurt whenever I demand.
10. You will NOT cuddle other cats in my presence. You know who I mean.
11. You will not come home from work and then go out again. You will be at my beck and call for a minimum of twelve hours a day.
12. Whenever you return with shopping, you will have gifts for me. No matter how small, all are welcome and expected.
13. You will set up the electric blanket within the next few days. I am fed up with being cold all the time.
Yours, ever mis-trusting of my human's ability to take orders
HRH Yao-Lin
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