Frootbat Friday

Ears forward, the mighty Frootbat spots his prey...



His eyes glowing with rage, he waits for the opportune moment to kill his target....



.....The grey tailed rat has no idea his fate is sealed.





Mwa ha ha! To be continued....



HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Meezer Rule Wednesday

Meezer Rule:



Don't allow yourself to be bothered by catty comments. It is not your fault that you are a stunning siamese. Always remain proud.

Yours, bashful and shy


HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Trauma Tuesday

Greetings, dearest followers...



As you can see, my lot has not improved in the slightest. In fact, things have got slowly and steadily worse.

Firstly, the human vacated the hovel to care for her mother aka Cripella De Ville. She is back now but getting the stern silent treatment from yours truly.

Secondly, I keep getting trapped under stinky Mao.

I haven't been able to update my blog for the above reasons. It is nothing short of tragic.

Yours, wondering when it will ever end


HRH Yao-Lin xx

The Very Hungry Cat

Once upon a time there was a very hungry cat. A VERY hungry cat.

On Monday, he ate some cereal:





On Tuesday, he demolished some left over roast beef:




On Wednesday, the poor starving cat rummaged through the neighbour's bins to retrieve the only sustenance he could find - a left over MacDonald's cheeseburger:






On Thursday the very hungry cat became outraged when his human called him 'porky'.




The poor boy is clearly wasting away.

Yours, starving as always


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Meezer Monday

WIPE YOUR PAWS! THIS INSTANT!!



HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Wordy Wednesday

No, human, I am NOT going to tell you where I have been today. Nor will I divulge the reason I am this stinky. In fact, I am insulted you even ask - I am NOT smelly at all, I don't honk and I have NOT been rolling around in cat urine all day.

Now leave me alone before I bunnykick you into oblivion.

Yours, rolling around in the sunshine and NOTHING ELSE



HRH Yao-Lin

Thoughts on Thursday

Once upon a time, there was a handsome siamese prince who thought that humans were interesting ceatures, sent to this earth purely to make his regal life a happy one.



Then he met his current human slave and realised the Gods were ridiculing his pitiful existence.

Yours, thinking life is a big fat joke at his expense


HRH Yao-Lin

Wordless Wednesday

Mwa ha ha ha ha!


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Thoughts on Thursday

During my harrowing time in this Godforsaken hovel, I have done a lot of thinking..




For example, today I thought of how the blue blanket in this photo brings out the gem like quality in my stunning eyes...

Then I returned to thinking of ways to bump off Charlie the runt. Do you think a harpoon or a sledgehammer is best?

Yours, deep in thought


HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Frootbat Friday

Another exhausting and emotionally draining week...

Here I am, in a grump.



Yes, I have plenty to be grumpy about, as well you know. Firstly, there's the Charlie issue that just won't go away, no matter how much I curse the fluffy runt.

Next, there is Baby Mao who wafts in and out of my life on a daily basis.

Lastly, the human slave. Forever useless and sent to test my patience. Today I was offered rare rump steak for my dinner. RARE RUMP STEAK?? I ask you in all honesty, WHERE IS THE MEDIUM-RARE SIRLOIN? Where is the love?

There is no love in this hovel, other than the love I have for myself. I know that should suffice but it just doesn't. I want to be loved and adored around the clock by everyone. Is that too much to ask? Is it?

One day my suffering will end. Surely. One day?

Yours, suffering in silence

HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Millie Bed on Monday

Excuse my profanity, but WTF is THAT doing in MY BED???????





This is the last straw!! Not only is the human ignoring me in favour of Charlie the naughtiest dog in the world, she is also allowing it to sleep in MY FRICKING BED!!!

Honestly, I can't cope with this.

Yours, too distraught for words


HRH Yao-Lin

Thankless Thursday

Greetings, subjects....

I am on the wall (looking handsome and regal as always...)




What do I see?



A FURRY DISGUSTING FLEA RIDDEN MONSTER STARING AT ME!!!



NO - CHARLIE - I WILL NEVER EVER BEFRIEND YOU! EVER! SO STOP ASKING!





Yours, sitting on the wall watching His royal universe collapse around Him.

HRH xxx

*sniff*

Easter Monday - Easter Presents

I am having a very Happy Easter - for once in my pitiful existence, something wonderful has happened.

I don't mean the catnip and yoghurt Easter Egg supplied by the human slave, although this was a palatable treat:







I mean the humiliation of Charlie - dressed as a dinner lady! Ha!!!!



Humiliation is a dish best served cold by a dinner lady LMAO!!!


Yours, wishing everyone a regal Easter


HRH xxx

Depressed Frootbat on Friday

Is today Good Friday? I really hadn't noticed....

I am dreadfully depressed, you know. Look at how miserable (and beautiful) I am:






THIS IS WHY: -



The human slave thought it would be a good idea to bring this little runt into MY HOUSE! I am pleased to report that I acted in a dignified feline manner - I glared at little Charlie the wonder dog for a full ten minutes before haughtily retreating up to my bed, from which I have not moved for a full day.

I'm not one to moan but really, this situation is beyond all degradation I have previously suffered.

Luckily Charlie has gone, for now..but I've heard rumours that the human slave grandmother has adopted the cretin.

Yours, living in dread and fear


HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Fashion Friday

It's still freezing in this hovel, so I have been reduced to wearing a pink ensemble:






Mind you, at least I am snug. For once.

Ta ta for now

HRH Yao-Lin xx

Frootbat Friday

Greetings!

The human thought I was basking in the sunshine:



But really I had passed out from the smell:



Ta ta for now


HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Meezer Monday

Greetings, adoring fans...




On the human slave's cat calendar today: 'Cats have incredible vision, but they never see your flaws'.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. I see ALL my human's flaws and MORE! Honestly, who wrote these ridiculous anecdotes?

Here's another: ' When it meows, one scarcely hears it...It has not the need of words to speak the lengthiest phraseologies'.

Er, WRONG AGAIN!!!! I spend all day every day HOWLING and YOWLING and the stupid fat human STILL gets my dinner order wrong and neglects to switch on the electric blanket. If I remained silent I'd never get fed!

Yours, thinking the desk calendar should go in the bin,

HRH Yao-Lin

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY

Today is my birthday. I am three regal years old.

You probably can't tell, but this is me smiling with sheer joy:



Ok, that is a blatant lie. I am merely licking my lips from the sirloin steak dutifully served by the human slave.



She even cooked the steak correctly for once. I almost passed out from the shock!

Sadly, I still had to put up with Baby Mao today. Maybe next year the human will lock him out for the day. Here's hoping!

Yours, thoroughly full up


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Tuesday Torment

I remain a tormented soul...





This time huddling beneath the human's dressing gown in a bid to stay warm.

Yes, I look cute, but that isn't the point. The point is I WANT THE HEATING ON AT ALL TIMES!

Yours, tortured and tormented


HRH Yao-Lin xx

Meezer Monday

Human, it isn't because I love you that I snuggle under your top...






IT'S BECAUSE IT IS FRICKING FREEEEZING IN THIS HOVEL!!!

In the meantime, I'll gladly use you as a hot water bottle. Heaven knows you have enough insulation to keep us both warm, fatso!

Yours, warm and toasty for the moment


HRH Yao-Lin

Dinner Guest on Monday

Yes, Mr Toad...



Of COURSE you can join me for dinner!!! That's it....



..Just come a little closer..just a little....

HUMAN!!! STOP JUMPING AROUND! YOU ARE SCARING MY DINNER!!!

Sorry, I mean, you are scaring my dinner GUEST!

Yours, so close yet so far away


HRH Yao-Lin xx