Wordless Wednesday

Torture on Tuesday

Well, the new camera arrived today and the humans set about torturing me, as predicted by some of you wiser cat bloggers!

This is one of the 'outfits' the human's bought me from Amsterdam. It is the Dutch national colour and is actually quite comfortable to wear.

I think I look rather lovely in this colour. I may insist the humans buy me more.

Ta ta for now

HRH Yao-Lin .

Meezer Monday

The camera is broken (to be replaced by Tuesday thank Goodness) so here is a picture from the archives. A slightly random picture but still beautiful, nevertheless.

Congratulations to Latte and Chey on their marriage. They are each now being waited on hand and paw by no less than FIVE human slaves!! Oh, to be so lucky!

Also, congratulations to Royal Princess Tara on her impeccable taste in meezers ;-)

Ah, enough from me on this Bank Holiday Monday - it is another sleepy day and I have yet more food to eat.

I trust you will enjoy the picture. More to follow very shortly.

Beautifully Yours,

HRH Yao-Lin xx

Saturday Stupid Unfunny Gifts

This is one of the gifts the humans brought back from Amsterdam. I find it deeply unfunny. They, however, think it is hilarious. I've said it before and I will say it again - humans are stupid! I think this comes under the term 'toilet humour'. I am far too intelligent to be amused.

For accuracy, I will include the text on the box:

Cat Butt Gum - 8 pieces of kiss my ass attitude.

7 Helpful occasions to chew this gum:

1. When you suddenly need to change your mood.

2. When somebody yells at you and you don't want to listen

3. If you lack attitude.

4. When you need to refuse.

5. When you want to be picky

6. When you want to be selfish.

7. When you definitely want to say ' kiss my ass!'.

Hmmm. Actually, I think all of the above are quite accurate in describing feline character!

The Return of the Slaves

The slaves are home - they returned last night around midnight, tired and bedraggled and a little confused by the water all over the kitchen floor.

You see, as a little present for them leaving me so long, Mao and I decided to use our weight to kick the switch connected to the extension lead which in turn connects to the freezer.

We managed to defrost the entire contents of the freezer. All that human food - wasted! Mwa ha ha ha!! I have to admit, sometimes two heads are better than one in planning revenge and it was actually Mao's idea! I am ever so slightly impressed.

Lesson learned, I don't think the humans will be going away again in a hurry.

I allowed them to shower me with gifts - pictures to follow shortly but the male slave broke the camera by packing it next to his aftershave which leaked and now it won't work. Stupid humans strike again!

Honestly, the tales my humans have told me about their time in Amsterdam - I am not ashamed to admit that it has made me blush!! Do you know, they actually have female humans for sale in shop windows? Can you imagine??!!( Don't click on the link if you blush easily).

I don't think my female human was overly impressed with Amsterdam - she found it a bit sleezy and grimy. She said that whilst it is a pretty city of canals and trees, there is far too much grafitti and litter.

She did however manage to pay a visit to Anne Frank's house which she loved and was really pleased to be able to pay her respects. She also visited Rembrandts House and decided she wants a house just like it! In her dreams maybe!

Anyway, enough about the humans and their trip to Amsterdam, I am bored now. I am going to be thoroughly spoiled over the next few days, whether the human's like it or not. Lamb chops for dinner tonight along with steak tomorrow.

Yours, happy that my slaves have returned at last,

HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Friday Fank-you

I should like to extend my sincerest thank you to each and every cat who has offered words of encouragement and sympathy during these last few days.

I have been miserable, I have suffered more than any royal prince should but I understand that the suffering will shortly be coming to an end. The humans telephoned the Vanessa slave just this morning and indicated that they will shortly be returning home.

I will once again be worshipped and waited on hand and paw.

I believe the humans will have bought me gifts.

Rest assured, I will not be showing any gratitude or affection. I will let my slaves see the extent of my displeasure. I know they worry when I ignore them. I know they dislike it when I climb up their backs with my claws out. I will do all of this and more. Mwa ha ha.

Oh, a big Thank You also to Kat who has seen fit to make me Cat of the Day! At least somebody recognises my greatness! I pity the humans who do not!

Tuesday Tales of Woe

The humans' have been gone for two days now.

Vanessa attends my home. She feeds me and plays with me but she does not worship me. She has two children that she brings along with her. I don't like them because they also fail to recognise my greatness .

I am siamese. I deserve to be worshipped. When will my worshipping slaves return?

Mao is happy- he thinks this is actually fun because the children play with him. Fool!

I am miserable. I must console myself in my beauty. It is all I have.

Yours still sulking


HRH Yao-Lin

xx