Thursday Thirteen

My human slave is stupid. Fact. With that in mind, please take a moment to reflect on the following:

Thirteen Stupid Things My Human Slave Has Said This Week:

1. "How on earth did those paw prints get all over the wall?"

2. "Yao-Lin, did you puke on my work shoes?".

3. "Please, Yao-Lin, I can't give you all of my attention when I am cooking your dinner. It's actually quite dangerous!".

4. "Please get off my pillow, cats. I can't breath with both your a*ses in my face".

5. "Please, cats, don't jump on my tummy when I am fast asleep. It really hurts me when I get winded"!

6. "Please, Baby Mao, stop climbing up the curtains. You've already ripped them and I don't think they will last much longer".

7. "Do I have to share my breakfast with you everyday Yao-Lin?"

8. "WHY are you bunnykicking my leg, Yao-Lin? I wasn't even doing anything to annoy you!"

9. "I cannot believe Derren Brown is gay. I am devastated. I really truly thought he was the One. He was supposed to meet me at one of his gigs and instantly fall in love with me. FOR THE LOVE OF BAST, WHY???"

10. "Come and give Mummy a cuddle, Yao-Lin, she's feeling fragile after hearing the tragic news about Derren."

11."Yao-Lin - since when do you like eating pasta drizzled with olive oil? I thought this was the one meal I could enjoy all to myself."

12. "There's a special offer on cooked chicken but I don't think the cats could eat more than one."

13. "Yao-Lin, was it you who left a trail of poo prints all over my clean laundry?".

See what I mean? I live with a complete idiot.

Ta ta for now



HRH Yao-Lin xx