Sunday, 29 April 2007

Stupid Slaves on Sunday

Today, after my steak and carrot breakfast, the female slave sat down in the living room and beckoned me to sit with her. Full up and feeling rather content, I obliged and flopped onto her lap, ready for some affection.

She was quiet, and seemed a little distracted. After a few minutes of cuddling, she looked at me and whispered "Yao-Lin, I have a confession to make". My ears pricked up - what could my human slave possibly have to confess on this most serene of Sundays?

"I'm dreadfully sorry your Royal Highness" she elaborated, "but I am tired. I work full time in order to buy you the things you need (like steak!) and am also your full time slave, a duty for which I am grateful".

I didn't like the sound of this, not one bit. I stared up at her, trying to give her my most icy and disapproving glare. It obviously didn't work because she carried on talking:

"I am going away to a place called Amsterdam. Only for a few days and I have arranged for a temporary slave to take my place. Her name is Vanessa and she will be attending to your needs, although only once a day. I have left full written instructions and she understands that you require your food fresh, your water to be replaced daily and she will be happy to play with you for at least half an hour".

I continued to stare at the human with disdain as I digested this information. She then cuddled me for a few moments more before asking "Your royal Highness, do you understand that even slaves need a holiday now and then?".

At this point, I jumped from her lap and sauntered into the garden to sulk.

I have not spoken to either of the slaves since.

One is NOT amused.

Yours sulkingly

HRH Yao-Lin



Daisy said...

Oh poor Yao-lin! This is most unacceptable. What will you do? I hope Vanessa is a quick study, and treats you with the proper deference.

Kim and Oscar the Puppy Cat said...

Most distressing news, my friend. Hmmmm...maybe Vanessa will fall madly in love with you and visit more than once a day OR, maybe she'll stay more than half an hour.
Either way, your slaves will return and you can make them pay!

The Meezer Gang said...

A substitute slave??? What kind of joke is that???

DiNkErDoO said...

..least its better than a cattery

Tara said...

I agree with you! At least you are getting a temporary slave. When both Mom and Dad went on a business trip, they left me alone for a whole 40 hours! Humph..

Caesar and Princess said...

This is horrible news.
I think you should poo on her pillow

Lux said...

And after you've invested all that time training the slave you have now! Life's just wrong sometimes!

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Ugh, beans! Dey do not need a vacatshun from us! Work, maybe, not us. We must be looked after in proper style and with the proper attitude. They're our freaking servants for pity's sake...I hope Vanessa is furry nice and gives you extra treats.

Parker said...

Uh Oh! Vanessa may be a great slave, but nothing is as good as the slaves you have! Just remember, the slaves you have need a break every once in a while. Not from you, but from the everyday - they are different from us, I like the same things on a daily basis. Go figure with those slaves!

DK & The Fluffies said...

Crisis! We hope all goes well with the help.

Cheysuli said...

Yao-lin, yes you are right. That is horrible.

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

How horrible! Though I find my temporary slave (aka Grandma) tends to give me better food and play with us for a really long time. I think the temporary slaves are pre-trained.