Saturday, 28 July 2007

Instructions for the slave

Dear Slave

I understand we are moving house on Tuesday. I see you, running around packing in a flurry of panic and I feel a small amount of pity for you.

Now, in order that this 'moving' experience be as stress free and coordinated as possible, I have a few demands that you will fulfill.

1. I do not wish to be disturbed during my usual nap time. Do not move me to the new house until I am well rested and have stirred from my slumber.

2. Feed me steak served on a bed of carrots before I leave the old house. I will NOT be happy if I am hungry.

3. I demand a separate vehicle. A horse drawn carriage would be best. I do not want to travel in the cat carrier with a certain stinky cat.

4. Come to think of it, I demand a gold satin cushion placed within the horse drawn carriage for maximum comfort and style. I also want several human slaves accompanying me on the journey. They may feed me sardines and/or temptations and may sprinkle catnip around the carriage. They may also kiss my paws but not too often.

5. I assume you have made arrangements for the commoners to line the streets on my arrival? They may stand either side of the red carpet, but not too close to me. Ensure they too have bags of 'nip with which to shower me when I am near.

6. It goes without saying, my throne and my bed will be ready upon my arrival. I have no doubt I will be exhausted from the ten minute journey.

I am sad that my passport has not arrived in time for me to emigrate to Siam. For now, I will remain your Royal Master.

I bid you adieu


HRH Yao-Lin

19 comments:

Daisy said...

Oh, Yao-Lin, I did not know you were moving! I hope your new castle is very majestic, as befits your royal status. Be safe, and happy traveling in your horse-drawn carriage. Moving is hard work, but I can't wait to hear about your new place.

Dragonheart said...

Good luck with the move Yao-lin! I hope it is as smooth and as stress free as possible!

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Oh, we hear dat moving is furry hard work. We don't 'do' work being cats. Hope yoor new place is befitting yoor royal status. Good luck on a smooth and stress free move.

The Cat Realm said...

Number 5 is most important! I love that one!
Where are you moving to? Did we miss something? Can we help?
And do not dread the new IDYA - it will NOT involve silly pictures of your Royal Highness out on the web - Karl is actually doing it because he had such an intriguing idea, I allowed him to do it. Just once!!!
Anastasia

LHK said...

If it weren't so fat away, I have my mombean standing on the side of the road waving and cheering about what a great kitty you are.
Alas, we live on the other side on the world.
---Beezer

The Meezers said...

Yao-lin - we hopes the move goes well.

Lux said...

Those are excellent instructions, Yao-Lin - I hope your slaves abide by them.

Caesar and Princess said...

We hope the move goes ever so smoothly. Well, I hope your slaves don't blow it and make a huge mess of things.

Rosa's Yummy Yums said...

Oh, Yao-Lin, I guess your wishes will be fulfilled ;-P! The slaves always do what we want, because they know they have no other options! Good luck with the move...

Marilyn MonREOW said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chairman Mao said...

Wowie, I didn't know you were moving! Good luck, and I hope your humans move you to yur new place as a Royal Highness should be moved!

Kittyhugs and purrs from MaoMao!

Marilyn MonREOW said...

Oops, sorry about that deleted comment up above MaoMao's -- he accidentally used my account instead of his. Good luck with your move, Yao-lin, and I hope your staff can move you in the style to which you, a Royal Prince, should be accustomed!

Purrs and snuggles from Marilyn.

China Cat & Willow said...

We really hope that you will like your new house. we also hope that your slaves follow all of your rules!


Purrrrrrs, China Cat & Willow

Samantha & Tigger said...

Yao-lin, moving is a bummer. Hope it goes smoothly and your every demand is granted. Good thing it isn't very far!
Your FL furiends,

Henry Helton said...

I hope the move goes okay. I don't like to move.

Purrs,
Clyde

DK & The Fluffies said...

Oh my, where are you moving to?

Eric and Flynn said...

We didn't know yoo wuz mooving!!! Hope it all goes well furr yoo, and yoo git plenty of nip sprinkled around to make it a happy ixpeeryents. We told our Beans to wave to yoo on their way into Southampton yesterday when they passed the IOW. Did yoo see them? They wuz the ones waving the baff towel ofurr the balcony as they sailed past.
Fanks furr tagging us, we will do our proverb tomorrow.

caricature said...

Excellent instructions Yao-Lin - glad you made it all clear to your bean - wish you a calm and happy time in your new palace :)

Tara said...

I hope the move went as you demanded, Yao-lin! Please let us know you made it safely!
Tara