Further to the degradation I have endured this past week, I have today, whilst you were at work, taken some much needed disciplinary action.
If you waddle upstairs into the main bedroom, you will notice claw-sized holes in your expensive voile curtains. You know the pretty drapes with the embroidered daisies that everybody compliments? Well, slave - observe with horror how they are now decorated with numerous holes and scratches!
Rest assured that given your behaviour this week I will continue shredding these curtains into pieces. I may eventually use them to stuff my pillow. Mwa ha ha..
There is no point in apologising to me.
Yours, haughty, demanding and disciplinarian