Thursday, 6 September 2007

Thursday Thirteen

The human slave has been off work this week. She has been thoroughly lazy so I have taken it upon myself to list thirteen errands she needs to complete before the week is finished. Do you see what I have to put up with?. *sigh*

Thirteen Errands for the Human Slave.

1. Buy steak. Lots of it.

2. Get my water dome working. It hasn't been set up since we moved house and I am NOT best pleased.

3. Sprinkle catnip in my bed. And on my throne.

4. Buy me some sardines. NOT tinned ones. I want fresh ones from the fish counter.

5. Hoover up the cat litter I have just kicked all over the stairs. It is becoming uncomfortable to walk on with my delicate paws.

6. Turn the kitchen tap on and watch as I drink direct from the faucet. I can't very well turn the tap on myself, you know!

7. When I raise my chin during the day, I expect it to be scratched. Each and every time without fail. Understand?

8. Sort out my wardrobe. My clothes are scattered about the place and I demand that they be sorted out, colour co-ordinated, ironed and hung up.

9. You will need to buy an ironing board. You are so lazy you don't even have one yet!

10. By me something nice from the Internet. I don't care what, just something expensive and geared toward felines.

11. Buy a present for Latte. Do it quickly, it has to be shipped to America.

12. You may hoover upstairs tomorrow ONLY. I will not have my sleep disturbed any other day. You will like this arrangement or lump it.

13. Hire the Queen on DVD. I feel the need to reminisce.

Well, I hope every cat has a wonderful day and that their human is more productive and shows more initiative that mine. I despair!

Yours, exhausted as always

HRH Yao-Lin


Dragonheart said...

Yao-lin, clearly your human needs to get moving in order to finish all those chores before the end of the week. We have an iron and an ironing board, but only because my dad needs to iron some of his uniforms. My mom doesn't iron. Anything she has that needs to be ironed goes to the dry cleaners.

Daisy said...

Yep, your human has lots of stuff to do. And if she is off from work, there is no excuse for her not to complete every single thing on your list!

Parker said...

Man, that's a big list, even for a human. I hope she snaps to it before you get REALLY cranky. HeeHee!

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

*sigh* We feel yoor pain Yao-lin. Our mom is home all the time and we still haven't gotten her properly trained...6 months and the only thing she's gotten is that we get fed and massawjed first. She still vacuums every morning while we are trying to get in our after breakfast nap! Keep on her, there is no excuse for her to not fulfill yoor every wish.

Anonymous said...

Yao-lin you are so funny! Like it or lump it - we are laffin and laffin. Your mom sounds like she needs some motivation to complete your tasks. Maybe a well placed sharp claw?

Monty Q. Kat said...

Make sure to offer something for your bean once she gets everything done, like a mousie. Warmer the better.

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

I wish I could say mine is better but she's not at all. Lazy does not begin to describe her.


The Crew said...

You have my complete sympathy, Yao-Lin. It's just so hard to get good help these days, isn't it?

I've been training my humans for 10 years now, and I find they still fail to meet my requirements.


Tara said...

I hope your human was listening. They are very hard to train sometimes, aren't they? Just this morning I gave Mom "the look" which meant I wanted to be taken outside. What did she do? She went to work!!!


Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

Let me get this straight, your human slave has allowed your water dome to not work since you've moved?!? wow, i think some whapping is in order.

you need extra steak and of course fresh sardines, extra, to make up for it.

i think you need a closet for your outfits like daisy. at the very least, neatly folded drawers like lilly lu has.

Caesar and Princess said...

Good list... now how are you going to get your lazy bean to do all of this?
screaming works!

Jimmy Joe said...

That is a good list, Yao-Lin. Boy, you sure need to give her a lot of reminders, don't you? Sounds like she's been slackin' off, not even settin' up your water for you. Sheesh.
Your buddy, Jimmy Joe

Chairman Mao said...

hehehe, you've got quite a To-Do list fur yur human slave! And ya know what, Dorydoo drinks direcktly from the faucet, too -- she loves it. And she'll sit up on the sinkie and stare at Momma 'til Momma gets up and turns the watur on fur her. We Ballicai have got our mom purretty well-trained, but there's always room fur improovement!

Kittyhugs and purrs from MaoMao!

Anonymous said...

*giggle*, *giggle*, you always make me *giggle*, Yao-lin! You are both very princely and very witty, my friend.

That's quite a list! Your human slave has got much to do *smile*.

Purrs and snuggles from Marilyn!

The Furry Fighter said...

hiya Yao-Lin!
Ise given you an award!
my meowmie could do with borrowing that list you have made!

Mickey said...

I hope you get that slave straightened out before the week is over!!

Henry Helton said...

Steak!!! Yes, yes, yes.

Lux said...

Let me know if this manifesto does any good - I've got a few demands of my own for my beans!

Pet's are 4 Life said...

Yao-lin wes understand its so hards to get the servants to obey..sigh! I hopes you got your steaks. Our momma is gonna write a story for you and post it on friday. We thinks she is gonna start with truth...but we coulds be could all be mades up! lol We can'ts wait to see it!!