Sunday, 30 September 2007

Sunday Guest Star

I am exceptionally pleased to report that I am Cheysuli's Sunday Guest Star.

The reason? My comment: "Good luck tomorrow, I will be supporting you all the way. Incidentally I am rapidly running out of interesting things to say in my comments so I will simply say this: I can’t wait until tomorrow night because the neighbours always have chinese food. mm."

Cheysuli, the most impawtant politician of our time, responded thus:

"I want to hear more about the Chinese food. Are these the same neighbors who had the roast lamb? Do they invite you over or are they some sort of hunting preserve? Do tell. You have the best food resources of any cat I know!"

Well, Chey, I will now elaborate for you and all of you food loving cats out there. You know who you are.

When we moved into the new house on 1st August, I was not allowed out for weeks and weeks on end. Consequently, my only food source was the under-cooked steak and Royal Canin the human insists on feeding me. Can you say cat abuse?

As soon as I was allowed out to explore, I followed my nose, hopped over the wall and found, to my delight, a fat human family living very close by. My fat human isn't quite sure how I managed it but within minutes I came home with chips (or fries) in my jaw and proceeded to eat them on the carpet.

I quickly realised I was onto a very good thing and have, on different occasons, come home with the following:

KFC chicken
Half a loaf of bread
A roast lamb bone
Chips (or fries)
A slice of roast beef.

The human has heard a 'little yappy dog' going nuts every time I hop over the wall. She has put two and two together and concluded that I am stealing from the dog's bowl.

So there you have it! A fit and proper explanation which also contains an important moral:

If you have a royal cat, feed it properly as it will NOT show loyalty to any human who cannot cook.

Enjoy your Sunday and take notes as required.

HRH Yao-Lin xx

247 comments:

1 – 200 of 247   Newer›   Newest»
Dragonheart said...

Wow, Yao-lin! It doesn't sound like your neighbours treat their dog very well. I can't imagine that chips/fries or KFC are good for a dog's health! They certainly aren't good for humans!

You are quite good at scrounging food, Yao-lin!

Ramses said...

Oh Yao-lin you're fast becoming my idol! Coming home with KFC and all those other goodies is amazing - though KFC is by far and away my most fave naughty to get my fags into. I mean it's my colour and all full of chickeny goodness! :)

Talking about chickeny goodness we're getting another roasty chicken for dinner today... Mmmmmm... chicken 'n gravy! Now how do I manage to post it to the IoW and save you from near starvation at the hands of your human slaves?! ;)

Monty Q. Kat said...

You are very resourceful, YRH!

(And I'll keep an eye on the younger beans like you said!)

Mickey said...

Have you ever come face to face with the mutt? Stealing his food,hahahaha
You are quite a guy! You made Mom laugh.

Henry Helton said...

The mystery is finally solved. I've been wondering how you got the food. I thought that maybe the fat human neighbors were just giving it to you since you are so very cute.

Daisy said...

Yao-Lin, you are so resourceful! But you had better be careful what you take from that house because some of that food does not sound very wholesome.

Cheysuli said...

For a moment I thought that perhaps you were being fed by the other human and I thought that was a wonderful thing. However, the dog! Now that's good!

Peach Man said...

Good work HRH!

The Furry Fighter said...

you are very brave yao-lin for stealing from a dog!
your neighbour's diet sounds appalling though...chips? kfc?

here's a tip though if you are growing attached to junk food - head out to the local chippy and hang out round the back, they always throw scraps to the hovering cats outside! my mum's old cat Whiskers literally lived at the chippy :)
x

Eric and Flynn said...

Yoo stole furrom a dawg??? Yao-lin yoo are our hero.

Black Cat said...

Hehehe Yao-lin, Oliver used to do that too! He came home twice with lamb bones with meat still on them. They were so big he had to turn his head sideways to get through the cat flap. We never found out where he got them. There were no dogs living nearby at the time:)

Lux said...

Whilst you're putting on weight, the poor neighbor's dog is probably becoming emaciated! I'll bet his owners can't figure out why!

Team Tabby said...

Wow, Yao-lin, how did you get all that stuff away from the dog?

Moe & Mindy

Tara said...

Stealing from a dog?? That is purrfectly royal meezer!!!

Tara

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

We are impressed! Stealing from a dog, even a little yappy one is furry brave!

michico 小芥 said...

Wowww, Yao-lin, that is really funny~!!! I think your neighbor woffie is very big~!! And now maybe that woffie is getting nervous now because there is a Star cat(you, Yao-Lin) is light and adroitly then he is could took away the food, heheheh~~~~

That is very very great of you, Yao-Lin, you are everybody's star.

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

Well you certainly know where your bread is buttered! The Chip Man once had a Maine Coon Cat that was so fierce he would go up to german sheppards and steal steak out of their bowls. And you are much smaller than he was!

Latte

Kellie The Orange Cat said...

Yao-lin you are my hero! Any cat that can come home with a half a loaf a bread, KFC, chips and a lamb bone deserves to be idolized. That little dog probably doesn't know what hit him : )

The Crew said...

Tell us the truth, Yao-Lin. Do these fat human neighbors think you're a starving stray or are you actually stealing from their yappy dog's bowl?

I have no love for dogs, but if the poor thing is being fed a loaf of bread, I think I could muster up some sympathy for him.

George

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