Stupid Slaves on Sunday

Today, after my steak and carrot breakfast, the female slave sat down in the living room and beckoned me to sit with her. Full up and feeling rather content, I obliged and flopped onto her lap, ready for some affection.

She was quiet, and seemed a little distracted. After a few minutes of cuddling, she looked at me and whispered "Yao-Lin, I have a confession to make". My ears pricked up - what could my human slave possibly have to confess on this most serene of Sundays?

"I'm dreadfully sorry your Royal Highness" she elaborated, "but I am tired. I work full time in order to buy you the things you need (like steak!) and am also your full time slave, a duty for which I am grateful".

I didn't like the sound of this, not one bit. I stared up at her, trying to give her my most icy and disapproving glare. It obviously didn't work because she carried on talking:

"I am going away to a place called Amsterdam. Only for a few days and I have arranged for a temporary slave to take my place. Her name is Vanessa and she will be attending to your needs, although only once a day. I have left full written instructions and she understands that you require your food fresh, your water to be replaced daily and she will be happy to play with you for at least half an hour".

I continued to stare at the human with disdain as I digested this information. She then cuddled me for a few moments more before asking "Your royal Highness, do you understand that even slaves need a holiday now and then?".

At this point, I jumped from her lap and sauntered into the garden to sulk.

I have not spoken to either of the slaves since.

One is NOT amused.

Yours sulkingly

HRH Yao-Lin

xxx

Stunning on Saturday

Here are some pictures of gorgeous me in the garden at the back of our flat. I have to say that, as always, I look spectacularly siamese-y gorgeous!

The human thinks I look a bit podgy. I disagree and, as has been banded about the cat blogosphere lately - the camera adds ten pounds!

There is absolutely NO WAY I will EVER go on a diet. It won't happen. If my humans even began to think that way, I would make their lives a misery. Mark my words!

Right, I'm off to scoff some lamb chops.

p.s I think the humans may be going somewhere. They have packed a bag and keep mentioning Amsterdam. Does that mean they won't be here to serve me? Watch this space.

Thinking Blogger Award!

I have been nominated for the Thinking Blogger Award!!!



Here are the rules

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme

3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote. Please, remember to tag blogs with real merits, i.e. relative content, and above all - blogs that really get you thinking!


The link to the post is here

I would like to nominate the following cats:

Skeezix Although I am sure he has already been nominated, I feel I should nominate him because his blog is so clever,it actually makes me thing about something other than myself (for five minutes!)

Hendrix Because his blog often relates to the training of humans sometimes by his evil alter ego. I like that.

Kaze, Latte and Chase because their blog is witty and clever and again, allows me to think of something other than myself. Plus they remind me of Mao and I!


Evil White Cat Because I love reading about his evil adventures and also the rats with whom he is forced to be friends. I can't wait to read about when he finally gets them, if you know what I mean!

Jinx Because although her blog is relatively new, it is still great to read about another royal siamese who inhabits the Isle of Wight!

Special thanks to both beautiful Tara and wondeful Kaze for nominating me! I am touched, truly.


Once again, I have been nice about other cats and once again I am exhausted by my efforts. *yawn*

Wordless Wednesday

Tiny Tuesday

Here is another picture of me as the littlest of princes. I was beginning the training of my slaves at this tender age (only 16 weeks old) and was busy trying to chew the human's ear! Literally!

The picture is a little fuzzy because it was taken via a mobile phone - the slave didn't have time to grab the camera because I was in the middle of chewing. Ha ha.

Ah, it is a relief to talk about myself again.

HRH Yao-Lin

p.s Kaze - if you are reading this - I really hope you feel better soon! See, I can talk about other cats too! It is exhausting but nevertheless can be done.

St George on Monday

HAPPY ST GEORGE'S DAY EVERYONE!



Here are some facts about St George. Note: the human is making me include this. I would much rather talk about myself, naturally.

Who was St George?

A good question and one that's hard to answer with any great degree of accuracy. Generally though, it's held that he was born in Turkey to Christian parents in the third century AD. When his father died, he and his mother moved to Palestine, where he became a soldier during the reign of Roman emperor Diocletian (245-313). Unfortunately, Diocletian was a bitter opponent of Christianity. George apparently told the Emperor that he was too harsh in his treatment of Christians, and when he left the army George was imprisoned and tortured for seven years. Eventually, after refusing to recant, George was beheaded at Lydda in Palestine.

How did St George become England's patron saint?

The elevation of St George to patron saint status took some time but began when he was accorded a minor religious feast day by the Oxford synod in 1222. By the end of the 14th century he'd been adopted as England's patron saint and in 1415, the year of the battle of Agincourt, Archbishop Chichele ordered St George's Day to be observed like Christmas Day.

Where does the St George's flag come from?

The flag of St George – which is shown as a red cross on a white background, symbolising his martyrdom – became the uniform for English soldiers probably as far back as the reign of Richard 1 and became England's flag at some point in the late Thirteenth century. The cross was incorporated into the Union Jack when the Act of Union took place in 1707.

Is he purely an English saint?

Far from it – in fact St George is also the patron saint of Portugal and Lithuania and St George's Day is a huge event in Catalonia where everyone wears red roses to commemorate it. In many countries St George is associated with fertility and his day marks the very beginning of summer.


For more info go to: http://www.raisingkids.co.uk/fea/fea140_stgeorge.asp

Sleepy Sunday

Ah, sleepy Sunday indeed. I must have been in the deepest of slumbers otherwise the stink emanating from Mao's bum would surely have awoken me!





HRH Yao-Lin
xxx

Saturday - spot the odd one out

Spot the odd one out.

The male slave likes to pose for pictures occasionally. I have no idea why - he is neither as gorgeous nor as photogenic as I . Sadly, you can't see all of my gorgeous face in this picture because the slave's huge head is taking up too much space. *sigh*

Fashion Friday

At last! I get to post about myself again!

Here is a picture of ME modelling my brand new blue outdoor jacket. I love it - it fits well and it brings out the gorgeous colouring of my Siamese eyes (somewhat dampened by the camera flash!).



Go on ,admit it, you know that I should be on the catwalk :-)

Thursday Thirteen

Well, as this week has been consumed largely by posts concerning Stinky Mao, I may as well carry on with the theme. Humph. Here are 13 facts about my stinky brother.

13 facts about Baby Mao

1. His kind are known as tabby point siamese stinkers (or lynx point stinkers in America).

2. He likes to eat raw meat, including raw mince and raw steak, but only from the butcher.

3. He isn't remotely fazed by me, no matter how much I try and scare him.

4. He enjoys cuddles with the humans and regularly seeks them out for affection.

5. He sometimes tries to bite my neck and imagine he is the boss. This fails to provoke the submissive response he wants, in fact provoking the opposite!

6. We share the same mother but have different fathers (like much of the population on the I.O.W *snigger*).

7. Mao's father is from the planet stinky bum.

8. He can play fetch and regularly does with gusto, much to the delight of the stupid humans.

9. He is scared of going outdoors, instead preferring to shiver on the windowsill.

10. He hates the sound of the guitar and literally shouts at the humans if they so much as pick it up!

11. If the humans are raising their voices, he will shout at them to be quiet, to which they duly oblige.

12. He loves catnip and if there is any around, he will go crazy. This is in contrast to me - I couldn't care for it.

13. Even though he has now had the snip, he still keeps getting his thing out. The humans' thought this would stop once he'd had his op and are a bit concerned that he is still transfixed by it. Ha ha.

Wordless Wednesday

Trouble Tuesday

The human returned from a hard day at work to find baby Mao in the bathroom doing this:

Honestly, look at that ridiculous expression on his face:

Mao wasn't even bothered and gave the human his best ' butter wouldn't melt' look :

So I took it upon myself to discipline him, on behalf of the humans (of course):

*Sigh*. It is exceptionally difficult having such a naughty younger brother.

It's all about ME (eezer) Monday

Another Monday, another chance to revert back to my most favourite of subjects.

Please note the gorgeous colour of my chocolate/cream fur against the Autumnal background. It really is an exquisite treat for the eyes, wouldn't you agree? ;-).



Bashfully yours,



HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Sunday Sims 2

Not to be outdone, baby Mao insisted that his sim be included on MY blog. So, here is the virtual baby Mao and he is certainly as virtually stinky as he is in real life.

I enjoyed my BBQ steak yesterday, it was adequately cooked although I would have preferred a nice piece of fillet as opposed to the thin grilling steak the human's purchased. Still, it is Sunday so I will most certainly be dining on something scrumptious this afternoon.

Saturday Sims

When my slave isn't reading my blog, she likes to play the Sims 2. This is her favourite PC game of all time and she really enjoys creating families and playing out their lives. Needless to say, she has her own character in the game and has created a sim version of me:

In the game, as in real life, I am very badly behaved, constantly scratching the furniture and giving humans the bitey! One could argue that this is art imitating life but it is far too early in the day for such musings.

It is simply gorgeous weather here at the moment and Mao and I have the reign of the garden. Despite this, Mao is busy playing with the slave's hairband in the living room and I am , well, in here - blogging!

I heard mention of a barbecue today - I assume this means I will be fed even more steak. *sigh*. It is a hard life.

HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Fashion Friday

Can you believe how STUPID my human slave's are???? Firstly, they buy me a shirt which is PINK when it is obvious I am much more of a royal purple cat. Then, upon adorning me in said top, they take pictures which clearly show the clothing is at least TWO SIZES TOO SMALL!!!

It is supposed to fasten around the waist area but my girth is simply too wide.

Whilst I am proud of my width, I am annoyed at the human's for getting me the wrong sized clothing. Their stupidity never ceases to amaze me!

Thursday Thank you!

Today, Mao and I received a lovely surprise in the post. All the way from California, a lovely Easter Card from the one and only Skeezix! Mao and I would like to say a sincere Thank You to Skeezix for the card. Mao and the humans love the picture of him. I , on the other hand, can hardly bare to look because Skeezix reminds me of a pure white Baby Mao. (sorry Skeezix, no offence).

I'd also like to take this opportunity to introduce a friend of mine from the Isle of Wight! Her name is Jinx, she is a beautiful royal Siamese princess although she is much friendlier than me. I am a self confessed brat. I think Jinx is much more graceful.

Here is a picture of jinx in her cute pink top:
Be sure to stop by Jinx's blog at :http://dinkerdoothatsillymoo.blogspot.com/ to welcome her.

Anyway, enough of me being nice. That was exhausting! I have to go and investigate the kitchen, I believe there is cuisine being served.

Ta ta for now

HRH Yao-Lin xx

Wordless Wednesday

A Meme about balance

Apparently nobody wanted to tag me *sniff* Not one to be ignored (as if), I have decided to tag myself. Listen very carefully to my answers, they are all extremely interesting.

To participate, write a post about balance in life and link back to this post. Answer any or all of the following questions or simply share your thoughts about life balance.

How do you achieve balance in your life?

To define balance in my life, I have to talk about the balance of power. This is, sadly, an ongoing battle between myself and the humans and myself and Mao. For example, they are each aware that their purpose in life is to serve me. Mao is here for my entertainment, the slaves for the menial tasks such as cooking for me or cleaning my litter tray. I remain in control at all times and the balance of power remains in my favour. It sounds simple and it usually is. Unfortunaetly, the littlest thing can upset this equilibrium. For example, just the other day the human's forgot to cook my Sunday roast. They mistakenly assumed that I would be happy with cat food from the tin. Naturally, I had to act on this and promptly insisted that they either share their food with me or cook something especially for me to eat. They chose the former and the balance of power resumed. Occasionally, Mao will believe that he is the boss and will ' put the bitey' on me. My response? To put the bitey on him so much that he sulks off into the corner. Once again, the balance is resumed.

What is your biggest challenge in balancing your life?

It is an ongoing challenge to maintain the balance in my life. I am in a constant state of near exhaustion because Mao and the human's are too stupid to realise I am the boss all of the time and not just when it suits them.

What are your priorities?

Me. Food. My blog. Keeping Mao and the human's in line. Exhausting!

What advice can you share to help all of us balance our own lives?

Keep your slave's in line. If you don't have a brother or sister, don't get one. If you are already inflicted with a younger sibling, ensure the balance of power stays in your favour. As long as you remain the boss, the balance should maintain itself.



I tag any other cat who wishes to respond to this.

Meezer Monday

Here is a picture of Mao and I playing with MY new toy. It is a Freddy Krueger stylee glove with mice attached to it. Mao is a bit scared of it but he is a total wimp. I love it. I also deserve it after yesterday's indiscretions.

Wishing Everyone a Regal and Happy Easter

Greetings, subjects, and may I wish everyone a very happy Easter.


I awoke this morning to find this:




I was pleased. A yoghurt and catnip Easter Egg just for me. Unfortunately, Mao could smell the catnip:




I watched as he went a bit mental over the egg. Apparently some cats are addicted to the nip and this egg appeared to send Mao, well, mental! :



He was rolling around and rubbing his head against it like a mini moron.



The, he had the sheer NERVE to give me evils when I gently reminded him that the egg was for eating, not rubbing against:




I am every so slightly annoyed with Mao at the moment. I have banished him to the wardrobe to consider the consequences of his actions.

Anyway, Happy Easter everyone. I am off to sulk now because my Easter has been ruined already and it's only lunch time.

Oh, and apparently my human slave is so stupid she thinks the playboy bunny is the Easter Bunny:

Glitter Graphics
Myspace Layouts

Honestly, I despair of this household!

Scary Saturday

For those of you who don't know me, I live on a small, relatively safe island at the bottom of England. I heard rumours of rumours of a threat called Vishus Deer. I saw other cat's pictures and I smiled, nonchalantly. Those pictures didn't really bother me because I thought that no such thing existed near where I live.

I have since been proved wrong:



CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT HUMAN'S KEEP THINGS LIKE THIS IN THEIR GARDENS? DOES THIS MEAN THERE MAY BE REAL VISHUS DEER ON MY ISLAND? AM I SAFE? ARE ANY OF US CATS SAFE? IS THIS A WARNING???

I understand there are measures in place to combat this threat. Forewarned is forearmed and I for one will be learning all I can about this very real threat to felines. How on earth could a vishus deer make it onto the island? Did they swim?

My head hurts.


HRH Yao-Lin xxx

Friday Destructive Fun

Today the weather was gorgeous so the humans went out to the beach. Mao and I decided to have some fun of our own. Unfortunately, the humans came back before we did any real damage but you can see here that we managed to knock down all of the male slave's CD's. It is fun to trash the place when the human's are out. I wonder what we can break next? Of course, I blamed the entire misdemeanour on Baby Mao. One of the few benefits of having a smaller sibling!

Thursday Thirteen

To carry on with the current theme and to try and make Mao feel a bit better, I have decided to make this week's Thursday Thirteen all about the benefits of neutering and spaying. I shudder to hear those words but I know that it is a necessary evil. Much like me!

Thirteen facts about spaying/neutering your pet.

1 Surgical altering is the only foolproof and permanent method of birth control for cats.

2 Some people believe that neutering changes a pet's personality. While it may decrease aggressiveness, the pet's genetic makeup and the attention and training it receives are the factors that shape its personality.

3 Although neutering a female after the first litter decreases the future number of unwanted animals, pet overpopulation can be increased when "just one litter" is allowed to be born.

4 Just one litter can result in hundreds to thousands of unwanted pets:

The Prolific Cat

1st year 3 litters = 12 offspring
2nd year 144 offspring
3rd year 1728 offspring
4th year 10, 736 offspring
7th year 370,192

5 Your pet will live longer, cost you less in veterinary bills, and be healthier if it is spayed/neutered.

6 The Cats Protection League estimate there are between 8 and 10 million strays in the UK- outnumbering the 7.7 million cats being cared for as pets. The charity gives £3 million, in vouchers, to cat owners to neuter up to 85,000 animals.

7 Neutering can literally save a cat’s life. Feline Immunodeficiency Virus (FIV) and Feline leukemia Virus (FeLV) are life-threatening diseases for cats. These diseases are transmitted through the cat’s saliva, which makes fighting cats more at risk. Neutered cats are less likely to get into fights with other cats and are therefore less likely to get bitten and be infected with these diseases.

8 Modern anaesthesia means that the cats are dealt with as "day patients" and that they can go home on the same day as the procedure.

9 Cats Protection neuters 100,000 cats each year, but despite this the cat population has risen over 22% in a decade, and around 800,000 kittens are being born each year

10 Both male and female cats can be neutered from the age of 4 months (be advised by your vet).

11 Every year, millions of animals are euthanized in animal shelters, and millions more are abandoned to die on the streets. Spaying and neutering prevents at least some of these from occurring.

12. In her lifetime, a single female cat and her offspring can be responsible for around 50 million kittens.

13. In the Uk in 2003, the feline population was approx. 9.2 million. This is twice the number it was 30 years ago.

So you see, Baby Mao, it really was for the best!

Incidentally, Mao is gloating over the outpouring of support and sympathy from fellow cats. I have had to bite him a little to stop him gloating. Mwa ha ha

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday Tribute to Mao's little Testies ;-)

I admit it. I feel ever so slightly sorry for Baby Mao. Today, he has had the worst day of his short life.

It started much like any other - him bouncing around like his usual annoying self, me retaliating with gusto.

Then came the big day out.

Mao was taken to the vet at 8.30 this morning and didn't get home until 5.00!.

Tired, hungry and a little bit sore, he skulked out of the cat box and onto his favourite cushion. That's right, Mao had gone under the knife and had his boy bits removed.

He is still skulking in the corner right now with the human fussing and fawning all over him. She would do better to ignore him and lavish all of her affection on me.

Anyway, Mao has insisted, in between sulking, that I include a tribute to his boy bits. He isn't happy about having had them removed and he wants a record of them so that he can reminisce in times to come. Excuse the graphic picture but Mao can be very insistent! The lyrics are quite nice - Mao took them from Basil the Great Mouse Detective - one of his favourite Disney Films. Ahem.

A TRIBUTE TO MAO'S BOY BITS





You followed me
I followed you
We were like each other's shadows for a while...
Now as you see
This game is through
So although it hurts
I'll try to smile
As I say...


Goodbye, so soon
And isn't this a crime?
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye, so soon
You'll find your separate way
With time so short
I'll say so long
And go...
So soon...
Goodbye!

Baby Mao: *sniff*

Meezer Munday

In this picture, am I thinking : a) What are you looking at? b)Why oh why is stinky Mao sat next to me? c) Oh look, there's the camera - I had better pose, fast! or d) all of the above?.

You will notice the strange wooden boat I am sat next to. This odd ornament allegedly represents the HMS Victory. Apparently, my female slave knows nothing about famous boats because otherwise, she would never have bought it. The real HMS Victory looks like this:




See? Not even remotely similar. My slaves really are stupid. *sigh*

Right, I must go - something is afoot - the slaves have just taken away all of the food? WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT????

A Little Prince

Here is a picture of me as the tiniest of royal princes. Even though I was so deliciously small, I could still understand the importance of the contents of the fish tank. The humans spent a lot of time taking pictures of me when I was a kitten. They still do, I assume because I have been blessed with natural good looks that get better with age and am therefore exceptionally photogenic. Just a hunch, mind you!